STACKS ON: Petro's Last Term? He Can Count On It

Not everyone in the Liberal party is focused on the federal election expected in November or December.

Kooyong wannabe and merchant banker Joshua Frydenberg  is openly campaigning for pre-selection for the blue-ribbon seat, currently held by The Age's favourite Liberal Petro Georgiou.

TEAM JOSH

Frydenberg, an enthusiastic recruiter, has put over 100 people in Kooyong branches.  The only problem is, they're all from Malvern, Armadale and Toorak in Higgins.  (Under Liberal party rules, many ALP patriots will find odd, you can vote in the preselection of the branch you are in, not on seat you live in. Go figure.)

As many of them are doctors it's just as well.  How else could the suburban transplant work?

Joshua is very busy making house calls himself and has been driving around Melbourne's ritziest suburbs dropping off piles of membership forms to lieutenant operatives.

It seems his constant phone calls to many of the locals has them bothered to the point of wanting to change their telephone numbers or going into witness protection.

COMPARISONS WITH EL TOWKE

With neither the Kennett faction not the Kroger/104 crowd supporting this lone merchant banker vigilante in his one-man ambition mission, is this man Victoria's answer to Michael Towke?

Through the fog of war, one clear fact emerges, this is almost certainly going to be Petro Georgiou's last term in office.

Game on.

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HOLD THAT TOWEL: Only One Poll Counts But We're Forced To Wonder Whether Little Johnny Plans To Do Kevvie Slowly

The Prime Minister might be going to lose the looming federal election but suggestions that he's going down without a bloody fight do rather misunderstand him, his base level of voter support and the will of his troops in Parliamentary ranks and among Liberal operatives.

FIGHTING BACK FROM THE BRINK

In the manner of people who've already been counted out by the experts, many of them are looking forward to the campaign knowing that whatever happens there'll be some serious punches landed on Kevvie's cherub nose. Look closely at their eyes, as they glide around Parliament House this week and among Team Loughnane and his hit squads in venues like 104 Exhibition Street, there's a meanness in their stare, an eye of the Tiger.  For the record, I prefer the techno remix.

Some wonder whether the ALP's wannabe Senator and National Secretary Tim Gartrell, with his pre-occupation with climate change and the collapsing power of his patron Anthony Albanese, is more of a pussy cat than a jungle beast. We'll see.

This is the kind of material the Libs are dropping in electorates like Deakin. This is no dress rehearsal, the Libs are preparing for the fight of their lives. And they might protect a lot more of those Melbourne eastern suburbs and regional Victorian seats than anyone was contemplating last week.

That leaflet is a taster for the firestorm to come. The Lib's coffers are reasonably full, with money raised long ahead of Rudd being favourite. They'll be spending the bulk of it forcing people to think about the fact that an election involves a choice and that comparison is an essential part of making that choice.

MEMO TO THE AGED: DEMOCRACY MEANS DEBATE

Negative campaigning is not pretty but it's a vital part of democratic debate. Discussing the strong and weak points of candidates is entirely legitimate and sensible. If we don't do it, we're having a fake debate. Which was why the left-wing press made itself a laughing stock last week for endorsing the Greens party pretty much purely on the basis that their ALP opponents had campaigned too hard. Perhaps The Age seeks to protect its monopoly on muck-raking.

Anyway, Newspoll shows that the Government is a fair way behind but not so far that a recovery is out of the question. Liberal patriots we spoke with last night and this morning were thrilled, many of them punching the air and emulating the PM's middle-fingered salute of defiance in the general direction of Queensland.

For those of us who delight in the black arts of negative campaigning and brutal attack ads, this election is going to be the sweetest victory of all, whoever wins.

Game on.

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CLEARED: Julian Sheezel Not Guilty of Anthem Disrespect Claims

Patriot State Liberal Director Julian Sheezel, a supporter of the wounded, defeated and drug-abusing Hawthorn Football Club (why is it that Tories only support Hawthorn or Carlton? Patriot Bombers Costello and Peacock notable exceptions that prove the rule) has been cleared of claims that he disrespected our nation's anthem by chattering away through the pre-match ceremony.

In fact, a patriotic and reliable source familiar with matter reports:

I can assure you that Julian Sheezel, an avid Hawthorn patriot, did not make it to the game until the quarter-time break well after the singing of our great national anthem. 

Julian was like many of the Liberal patriots at 104 working well into the night working hard to ensure the re-election of the Howard Government.

The only thing more disappointing than your Paul Mulvey-like posting was the 93 to 60 defeat of Julian’s beloved hawks.

Game on.

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CREANED: Liberal Candidate in Hotham Thinks Simon Crean Has Been In Government These Past Seven Years

The Liberal candidate for Hotham, running against despised former Labor Leader Simon Crean, Mr Vince Arborea may be quite a well credentialed candidate for all his skills in the area of building surveying and local government, he is clearly no rocket scientist as his candidate's statment on the Victorian Liberal website demonstrates:

Vince believes that after seven years of a Labor government in Hotham, it is time for a change. He will listen to the community and by working together we can build a better future for Hotham.


There could be little dispute that the incumbent MP Mr Crean would be open to forming his own government in the Hotham duchy, alongside Crown Prince Kieran Boland, First Admiral George Lekakis, Dungeon Gimp Amy Duncan and Court Jester Steve Dimopoulos and a variety of ex NUW rats who will be slowly hunted down by the killer feline Timmeh Holding.

But given that the Creanster has been in Hotham since 1990, some of it in government, most of it out, some seventeen long years, we're not really sure what Vince could have meant. Some think he might have just cut and paste from something he wrote for the state election. Tsk tsk. Such cutting and pasting is only allowed at The Age, the international centre for plagiarised journalism.

However we suspect Vince doesn't know his governments from his incumbents, indicating perhaps that people with normal lives spent not obsessing with politics are infiltrating the political process and emerging as candidates. The bare faced cheek of it!



UPDATE: The Boys of 104 are pretty quick on the up-take. Within minutes of our article appearing, they changed poor old Vince's statement. It now reads:

Vince believes that after seventeen years of the same Labor member in Hotham, it is time for a change. He will listen to the community and by working together we can build a better future for Hotham.

Game on.

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MORE ON 104: Julian Sheezel's Excellent Adventures

The Herald Sun is also reporting on a story regarding the imminent departure of Julian Sheezel, the State Director of the Liberal Party in Victoria. The story isn't online but reports that possible replacements including Federal Campaign Manager Simon Morgan and Baillieu staffer Paul Price.

Our informant has a different take:

It is safe to say that sources deep within the Liberal Party are considering Simon Morgan who has worked closely with and is well supported by the Federal Liberal Director, Brian Loughnane. Paul Price wouldn't have a snowflake's chance in hell.

The Kennett camp would not necessarily be hostile to Simon who is considered to be largely independent, due to his work at the Federal Secretariat. There are some murmurs that the Kennett camp may consider Peter Clarke or Clem Newton Brown, both of whom would be considered under qualified and would be unlikely to get the support of the powerful Administration Committee that is sympathetic to the Costello camp.

Game on.

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A FISTFUL OF GOSSIP GRENADES: The OC Blows Up Multiple Targets In The Morning

Here's a few things you might not know:

■ Word is that ETU boss Dean Mighell is in the process of removing Tasmanian official and controversial former ALP candidate Kevin Harkins from the union. Unconfirmed speculation at this stage.

■ Some at 104 (Liberal Party HQ in Melbourne) are saying that Julian Sheezel is telling supporters that the looming federal election will be his last. They also speculate that after he does a private sector gig for a while he'll be ready to be put up his hand for Julian McGauran's Senate seat. UPDATE: A patriot points out that the position McGauran had been promised was Judith Troeth's spot who doesn't yet know she'll be retiring as well. The Nationals' position that McGauran has currently got will obviously be decided by them.

■ Pugnacious ALP candidate Bill Shorten amazingly managed to extract a confession from pugilist Liberal minister Tony Abbott that the government maintains a taxpayer funded "Dirt Unit" comprising no fewer than ten staff which has its own office and phone number and all. That'd be a seriously fun job, but is it really a valid use of the people's money?

■ LHMU Victorian secretary dodo Brian Daley is definitely flying north for the winter. He'll be taking up the position of National President of the LHMU, a paid position. As we've already revealed, he's been replaced by thirty something Jessica Walsh who we are told not only has a PhD in labour history and spent a year studying how to be a really great union official in the United States and then really confirmed her legendary status by being the apple of Brian Daley's eye (innuendo intended). Her arrogance and haughtiness are believed to cause major offence at every possible turn and very soon the OC will be revealing her secret plan to bullet large numbers of staff in the Victorian branch.

■ Uber leftiste Supreme Leader bearded and beer-gutted Senator Kim Carr is believed to be eating power-rival Sydney MP Anthony Albanese's lunch. Proximity is power they say, or at least adviser Tom Cargill says as he gladly moved from a huge office miles away from the Premier's bunker to a broom closet so close to the new Premier's office that it might as well be an ensuite (sans dunny). We digress. What's going on in the national Left, Socialist insiders report, is that the national office of the Australian Manufacturing Workers Union now run by Carr mate Comrade Dave Oliver is now in Melbourne, with the very live prospect of millionaire property lord union boss Brian Daley moving the national office of the LHMU from Sydney to Melbourne. This is a chilling prospect for Albo who in the past has had a big chunk of the industrial Left to lord over in Sydney. Now two of the biggest Left unions in the country will be firmly in grey Kim Carr's grey (yet so lovely and cosmopolitan with a bar up every lane) Melbourne. Albo might be allowed to visit these big ALP affiliates occasionally but only after his passport is stamped by diligent yet dangerous Carr Lieutenant and one-time war-gaming tsar Kosmos Samaras, who like Carr is a proud owner of a palatial and extremely environmentally unsound McMansion outside the City. His life ambition: to own a big black shiny Hummer with mounted machine gun, with in-built PC with sat-net connection for war-gaming on the road.

■ By contrast, Essendon supporter, upper house deputy leader and Enviro Minister Gavin Jennings has pleased the OC by stepping up the attacks on the extreme Greens.

In response to the Federal Liberals and Nationals doing backflips on nuclear plebiscites, Gavin Jennings stated in the Parliament "The reason the (Liberal) Leader of the Opposition presumably did not want me to continue is that he knows that when I look beyond him, I am looking at the last people in the known universe who are opposing people having their say. The only people who are on the public record as opposing people having their say about whether they should have a nuclear power station are those on the Liberal benches and the members of the Greens in Victoria."

Jennings is understood to be most insistent that the failings of the Greens receive much more prominence from government spin-doctors. He is outraged that they have voted down the plebiscite on nuclear power and disgusted by their veto of tax cuts for energy efficient hybrid cars. He has told comrades that the Greens aim to do no less than evict the SL from Melbourne's inner city and that only by direct engagement can the SL survive this challenge. He is increasingly concerned that Bronywn Pike doesn't know how to handle the Greens and believes it's time she moves on so a younger, feistier leftard can step up and take to the Greens dragon with broadsword and mace. We now hope that his message of courage and inspiration leads to his part of the Left understanding the full extent of the Greens party threat.

■ UPDATE:And it's always a joy reporting on student politics too, that wild frontier of freedom. We're hearing that University of Queensland Labor Leftists think they're being very clever by bringing in a carpet-bagger candidate for SRC President from the city-slicker QUT campus. Jessica Cleaves is a QUT student who has craftily enrolled in one subject at UQ solely for the purposes of running in their student elections. Charming. There's been a split in the Labor Left forces, with some of them regarding ALP membership as a bit impure. The remaining rump have been reduced to busing in help from QUT to bolster their flagging operation, it's somehow all connected to a QUT leftard master-plan to run for the NUS presidency. Some are not so sure about Comrade Cleaves though, she's written suicidal prose and various other kinds of nutbaggery on a blog. Someone will send through the links or screenshots soon hopefully.

■ UPDATE:Supposedly politically neutral, former Liberal, turncoat bridge-burner, errorist sleazebag and hypocrite liar Stephen Mayne has disclosed that he'll be voting for the Labor Party at the next federal election. He declared in a boastful and revealing radio interview last year that he "always votes with Oppositions."[real media] He also affirms his belief in what he calls the 3 R's "refugees, republic and reconciliation." Total pinko.

That should do for one glorious morning. The OC's battle with the flu is - God willing - reaching it's end. The sun is shining. A friend in business has just had a splendid triumph. Another dear friend has just inspiringly reached the end of the most amazingly long journey, motivated by love. Jon Faine is off the air. All is right in the world. Go and make something happen today and make it even better.

Game on.

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WHO WANTS TO BE WHO: The Ambition Faction in the Liberal Party Revealed

News and wild speculation from patriots operating within the Victorian Division of the Liberal Party in Victoria has come to hand today.

A member of the OC Investigations Unit Prime Suspect reports:

It appears that the contest for the next round of State Preselections is getting very interesting - with a number of people already making noises about positions. From what we know already the following folks are emerging as contenders or pretenders.

First Position on the Liberal Ticket - Western Metro

■ Bernie Finn - Current MP - duh.
■ Andrew Elsbury - Ex 104 and current Sen Ronaldson Staffer - Costello Supporter.
■ Robert Mandanici - Ex YL State President, ex Doyle staffer and partner of former Finn staffer
■ Christina Culliver - Ex Finn Staffer and strong Costello Supporter - could have big backers. UPDATE: Christina Culliver is Robert Mandanici's fiance and she is not considered likely to run for parliament but is considered a huge Costello fan
■ Jenny Matic - Considering another last ditch effort to rid the West of Finn and the Krogers she is currently busy renewing all her members in her branches - nice and early and this time she means it.


Second Position on the Liberal Ticket - Western Metro

■ Alan Evers Buckland - tipped to be Finn's new staffer and running mate for 2010 but Alan is very close to the Kennett faction gets seen with David Davis and Richard Dalla Riva - a bit too close for a lot of people's liking.
■ Stephen Reynolds - is considering a second run but still reeling after not receiving any support from Finn in 2006 - good guy and a nice all round sorta person - great second person material and could win a seat in 2010 if they gave him another go.
■ Dino DeMarchi - tends to run for everything and will consider another push


First Position on the Liberal Ticket - Northern Metro

■ Matthew Guy - duh.
■ Maxwell Gratton - Considering his nomination - thinks he did well enough in Ivanhoe and Batman to be considered a serious contender for State Parliament.
■ Dino De Marchi - will once again nominate for West and North and hope for the best! You've gotta be in it to win it, thinks Dino. No doubt he's a Tatts ticket regular.

Second Position on the Liberal Ticket - Northern Metro

■ Hamish Jones - the young Krogerite is said to be really, really pissed off. Not a happy camper after being dropped in it for his relatively mild blog statements but might be looking for rehabilitation by running in Northern.

First Position on the Liberal Ticket - Eastern Metro

■ Richard Dalla Riva (RDR to friends and text buddies) has this sown up for number one - no Ron Wilson comeback here

Second Position on the Liberal Ticket - Eastern Metro

■ Jan Kronberg is considered a really good chance
■ Bruce Atkinson will be making his call, no doubt that the Pension for life is the best option
■ Gladys Lui still has a lot of supporters and it would not be hard for her to achieve spot 3 this time and take up a seat on preferences - given the last election this shouldn't be too difficult out here and would see her elected to the Chamber.

Bentleigh

■ Glen Eira Mayor David Feldman with the support of Inga Peulich will try and clinch this one

Caulfield

■ Helen Chardonnay Shardey - her time is up with Kroger/Costello making a massive push for whiz-kid and wunderkind David Southwick ready to roll. There is also though a rumor starting that David Davis might be considered by Team Kennett for some time in the Green Chamber with the common folk - after ruling out going for Kooyong he is apparently seeking options to become an MLA as he sees himself as a future leader if Ted doesn't make it.

Mt Waverley

The Young Turks still have it sown up - Gidley is a shoe in for the preselection - his numbers all renewed and they are back in force.

Scoresby

Asher Judah is ready to unleash out there and carve a seat for himself.

Ferntree Gully

Emmanuelle Chichiello still has some pretty firm numbers there and will make his move is he does not win Holt for the Feds. EC is known to cherish a long relationship of sparring with Nick Wakeling that goes back to their time shared in the Young Liberals.

Sandringham

Ross Fox is considering his options once he bombs out of Isaacs - the sitting member of Sandringham is on the move soon into his retirement.

It's too early to tell for some other electorates but we will let you know in future editions of the OC, with the federal results of course likely to have a big impact too.

Game on.

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NO SHOW: Red Ted Waves White Flag Or Is It Green?

Patriots advise that the Victorian division of the Liberal Party will not be fielding candidates in Albert Park and Williamstown, following a meeting of the Administrative Committee this evening, fuelling speculation of a sweetheart deal with the extreme-left Greens Party, who will be a serious threat in Albert Park.

The vote apparently ran along factional lines with Baillieu's faction wanting to contest but the ruling Kroger group opposing. The Herald Sun's Thursday editorial demanded Ted show some ticker and run candidates, at least in Albert Park. He has instead shown a desire for bicker, between the Greens and Labor as they enter an unprecedented head-to-head death-struggle behind the Latte Curtain. It is an area of great contrasts, the beachy million dollar mansions of the Esplanade and the South Melbourne Housing Commission, the old wharfies of Port Melbourne, the barristers of Middle Park, the students in St Kilda and the young professionals of Southbank.

While many will be rightly concerned about where Red Ted's head is at, the pure joy of having a referendum on the sleazy Greens is surely enough to alleviate concerns. This is the election we had to have. A chance for the ALP to give the Greens the mother of all whippings or die trying. Yum.

Kudos to the OC Investigations Unit (Liberal Patriots Division) who shared this with us on Monday.

It is rare even in OC FIGJAM of Freedom moments for us to feel the need to quote ourselves in full and yet on this occasion it seems highly appropriate to do a victory lap.

Monday 30 July 2007 1.20PM
TOP TORY SOURCE: The Liberals May Not Run in Albert Park Grand Prix

Sources at Liberal HQ 104 Exhibition Street have confirmed that they are considering - as part of their ongoing Greens-Liberal-Deal - not fielding a candidate in the Albert Park by-election in order to assist their extreme left buddies in the Greens Party.

"We'd love them (the Greens) to take the seat to stick it right up Brumby... it might help with other issues and would negate talk about us preferencing them or them preferencing us" one troublesome patriot confided in the OC.

"Some money from friendly sources might also be directed their way, we're starting to muscle up Andrew. Now that Bracks is gone, it's 'game on' mate" he said just moments ago, showing his excellent taste in websites of freedom.

"This is gonna be pure thrill kill."

Game on.

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GOLD: Three Strikes And Paul Austin Is Out

You'll read this and be forced to wonder why The Age covers state politics at all. They have been humbled once again by the combined forces of multi-national billionaire-owned News Corporation and the OC, your not particularly humble correspondent. Why does Paul Austin even try to compete?

■ The Herald Sun's ace reporter Ellen Whinnett has embraced and extended the OC's account earlier this week of the possibility that Australia's most famous basketballer Andrew Gaze might step up to Labor candidacy for Albert Park.

Gaze said he had not considered standing in bayside Albert Park, but would not rule it out.

"I haven't given it a second of consideration. I couldn't say no or yes," he said.

Gaze said he would take a phone call from Labor headquarters as "that's where my political bias stands".

He confirmed he had been approached by Labor to run in the 2006 state election, but dismissed it because he was still playing basketball.

Sounds like a yes to us although others are far from certain he will put his name forward with former local mayor and popular local government figure Dick Gross strongly in contention.

■ It gets better. Perhaps initially sceptical, our favourite Tasmanian embarked on a mission to find a Liberal interested in contesting a seat that due to its soaring property prices and changing demographics might one day be of interest. Looks like our sources were right on that too. Every chance of a Tory no-show at this stage, although we understand there's at least one local interested in running but only if he gets the proper support from 104. The spin seems to be that resources will be devoted to the federal campaign.

■ And, in a separate story on the hopelessly divided and squabbling Socialist Left faction, torn apart in a vicious civil war, key OC revelations have also been vindicated in an intriguing tale of plot and counter-plot. It is rare for the Herald Sun to do internal ALP stories on the reasonable grounds that they are usually dull tales of woe. But in this yarn, Ellen has lined up some lefties to lash out, damning their comrades in an outburst of left-on-left violence not seen since the The Age-Erickson fight night. The story also confirms our earlier yarns about the Jennings push for morally challenged Jacinta Allan, marginal seat holder Bronwyn Pike and other Jennings plotting.

Remember our little graphic portraying Kim Carr decreeing that power-rival Gavin Jennings would end up in Carr operated gulag? Was only a slight exaggeration. Today's Herald Sun article gives some indication of just how grumpy the Carr Left are. It would be wrong not to include the full text of the highly amusing article:

Kosky fury at deputy duping

AN internal row has broken out within Labor's Left faction over the group's failure to endorse a candidate in Monday's deputy premier election.

Public Transport Minister Lynne Kosky and her supporters are furious with other members of the Socialist Left faction that they failed to support her bid to take on Rob Hulls, from the Right-wing Labor Unity faction.

The row is the latest manifestation of a growing rift between a section of the Left aligned to Senator Kim Carr, and the larger sub-group run by Community Services Minister Gavin Jennings.

The Left took the curious position of suggesting three candidates as potentials for the deputy's job -- Ms Kosky, and the Jennings-aligned Jacinta Allan and Bob Cameron.

But like the other factions, they did not formally endorse a candidate, to give new Premier John Brumby a chance to elect his leadership team free of factional interference.

Mr Jennings is being blamed for running a campaign against Ms Kosky. (OC: He is a bad man)

He is believed to have phoned Health Minister Bronwyn Pike, who is in the Left-aligned sub-faction called Pledge, and sounded out her interest in running for the job.

Ms Pike has confirmed she was considered, while Ms Kosky was the only minister who thought she needed to issue a statement publicly withdrawing her interest in the job. (OC: Comically, Peter Batchelor reputedly did the same, withdrawing his interest in the Treasury job. Verily, the Liberal's Ted Baillieu who partly restored the state's finances by selling surplus school properties had a stronger claim)

"Lynne is furious," one senior factional source said. "We were conscious of what was going on." (OC: Even Khalil Eideh was and he's still not sure why those loud bells keep ringing at Parliament House)

"Gavin Jennings and Daniel Andrews' group put up Jacinta Allan (OC: Another OC exclusive) as a stalking horse and to make Lynne think that she didn't have support, they put doubt in her mind. Lynne is extremely annoyed." (OC: And yet strangely relaxed about delays in train services)

The source said it was well known Mr Jennings had made calls to Ms Pike to further undermine Ms Kosky. (OC: He is Tiberius with the telephone, to quote former PM Gough Whitlam)

A Right-wing MP said his group had watched the Left brawl with amusement, and said Ms Kosky had been shafted. (OC: Amusement indeed, I'd go with the word glee. And yes, while Kosky was shafted she was almost certainly the wrong choice too after her Marie Antoinette style statements about train timetables. Rob Hulls might not be the humblest bloke but he wouldn't have said such a thing.)

A Labor Unity source said he expected Mr Brumby would smooth any ruffled feathers with his portfolio distribution on Friday.

Most factional sources believe Ms Kosky will probably keep her difficult Public Transport portfolio.

A source aligned to the Jennings-Andrews faction said: "She made a decision about how she wanted to progress her nomination and it was understood that she thought it would be John's choice." (OC: The lesson is clear though, Jennings has been veddy, veddy greedy. He needs to give up some of his ministerial spots to the rival Carr group. But he won't. That's why the Left's a feudin'.)

Game on.

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TOP TORY SOURCE: The Liberals May Not Run in Albert Park Grand Prix

Sources at Liberal HQ 104 Exhibition Street have confirmed that they are considering - as part of their ongoing Greens-Liberal-Deal - not fielding a candidate in the Albert Park by-election in order to assist their extreme left buddies in the Greens Party.

"We'd love them to take the seat to stick it right up Brumby... it might help with other issues and would negate talk about us preferencing them or them preferencing us" one troublesome patriot confided in the OC.

"Some money from friendly sources might also be directed their way, we're starting to muscle up Andrew. Now that Bracks is gone, it's 'game on' mate" he said just moments ago, showing his excellent taste in websites of freedom.

"This is gonna be pure thrill kill."

Game on.

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PARTY TIME: Liberals Boozin' Through Party Town Melbourne

OC Investigators are operating in the troubled Australian Liberal Students Federation Federal Council meeting this week in the delightful city of Melbourne.


Fresh from its riotous booze cruise last night, the delegates are having a gay old time in Marvellous Melbourne. An OC investigator has spoken up, at risk of injury from notoriously tough right-wing numbers-man Tim Andrews who according to an OC source threatened “serious consequences” for anyone leaking to the “media, including Landeryou.”

While ex ALP member and ABC broadcasta Jon Faine might question my credentials as a journalist despite this very blog being our monument to breaking news, it is pleasing to see the feared back-room operator Andrews acknowledge the rising OC tide. Subversive OC informants have told us that Timbo will fail in his quest to become President of the NSW Young Liberals so has or will be given another term as ALSF President as a consolation prize.

Meetings and gabbing at 104 Exhibition Street Liberal HQ or in the badlands of Melbourne Uni have been marred by allegations of a lack of financial accountability against Treasurer Luke Tobin (working for patriot Senator Mitch Fifield) and conference convenor Byron Hodchkinson (who works for Parliamentary Secretary Tony Smith). Tim Andrews' opponents say that ALSF officials are reluctant to open the books which is making it easier for the critics to undermine the leadership. Andrews and Tobin defenders say these claims are nothing new and all that information is readily obtainable from Liberal secretariat.

The OC understands that in light of previous trouble, senior government officials vetoed the ALSF from using any of the meeting facilities at 4 Treasury Place, the commonwealth government ministerial bunker and scene of much young Liberal tomfoolery in recent years. If closed camera vision could be obtained of some of the after-dark activities, it could be Animal House meets SBS Late Night Viewing.

The Victorian representative Courtney Dixon has been stongly criticised for an apparent lack of diplomatic skills. Many have been saying where is the subtle and charming Brendan Rowswell when you need him?

He’s not at the office of Mrs Mirabella and not at the ALSF conference where once only a wooden stake could have kept him at bay.

But Comrade Courtney has struggled to fill Rowswell’s Shrek sized shoes, alienating brother delegates from across the nation who dispute his authorit-eye and his indelicate propensity to “demand not deal”.

Compounding this sad situation is great division among Liberal chums from Monash where they feud with an intensity normally reserved for Melbourne’s underworld. Their divisions stand ready to trigger an implosion among the Victorian delegation.

Meanwhile some delegates have been drowning their sorrows at every possible occasion which have included alleged highlights:

■ Annual Gala Dinner to be held at Melbourne’s Rialto Tower with a very special guest

■ Tour of Victorian Parliament House

■ Champagne brunch with the Hon Tony Abbott MP, Minister for Health and Ageing

■ Cocktail Party including the launch of the 2007 Marginal Seats Taskforce for the upcoming Federal Election

■ Evening cruise from Waterfront City, Docklands

■ Pub crawl encompassing State of Origin III

Game on.

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FOOTY: The Attributes of Different Footy Teams' Supporters

Gary Morgan who owns Roy Morgan Research and most of a whole block of Collins Street has issued findings on the nature of various AFL supporters.

Adelaide Crows supporters are:
• 77% more likely to have eaten at a Pizza Haven restaurant in the last four weeks;
• 40% more likely to have consumed Sunkist in the last seven days;
• 21% more likely to agree that “If I could afford to eat out every night I would”; (OC: Those pie floaters are so tempting)
• 18% more likely to agree that “I would have difficulty coping with a demanding job or career”;
• 17% more likely to agree that “I avoid staying at accommodation that does not have genuine environmental policies”;
• 16% more likely to agree that “I believe homosexuality is immoral”;
• 14% more likely to agree that “TV advertising often gives me something to talk about”;
• 14% more likely to agree that “Quite often I find TV advertising more entertaining than the programs”;
• 11% more likely to agree that “I think it’s the Government’s duty to support those who can’t find work”;
• 23% less likely to agree that “I seldom have time for breakfast”;
• 12% less likely to agree that “I often take advantage of the special offers on the back of my supermarket shopping docket”;
• 10% less likely to agree that “I enjoy buying magazines”.

Brisbane Lions supporters are:
• 45% more likely to agree that “I need a mobile phone to access the Internet”;
• 39% more likely to have eaten at a Red Rooster restaurant in the last four weeks; (OC: No surprises there)
• 26% more likely to agree that “I often take advantage of the special offers on the back of my supermarket shopping docket”;
• 23% more likely to agree that “If I didn’t have to carry a mobile phone for work, I wouldn’t have one at all”;
• 15% more likely to agree that “I buy the same food every week”;
• 14% (of respondents aged 18+) more likely to agree that “I like promotions that offer free gifts with a purchase of alcohol”;
• 13% (of respondents aged 18+) more likely to agree that “I drink alcohol mostly at home”;
• 13% more likely to agree that “I use coupons I find in magazines or on packets”;
• 13% more likely to agree that “My job often takes me outside of mobile phone network range”;
• 11% more likely to have Vodafone as their mobile phone service provider;
• 11% more likely to agree that “I often notice the advertisements on the tops and backs of taxis”;
• 11% less likely to agree that “I choose a car mainly on its looks”.

Carlton Blues supporters are:• 41% more likely to have consumed Pepsi Light in the last seven days;
• 39% more like to have eaten at a Nando’s restaurant in the last four weeks;
• 36% more likely to agree that “I consider myself a homosexual”; (OC: Interesting)
• 31% more likely to agree that “I usually notice the advertisements on shopping trolleys when I go grocery shopping”;
• 30% more likely to agree that “I sometimes use force to get things done”;
• 20% more likely to agree that “Quite often I find TV advertising more entertaining than the programs”;
• 17% more likely to agree that “There’s too much change going on these days”;
• 17% more likely to agree that “I choose a car mainly on its looks”;
• 15% more likely to agree that “I’m worried about interest rates at the moment”;
• 13% more likely to agree that “I always read the business section of the newspaper”;
• 12% more likely to agree that “I often enter competitions run by newspapers, magazines or radio stations”;
• 24% less likely to agree that “Computers and technology give me more control over my life”;
• 12% less likely to agree that “I’m a bit of an intellectual”.

Collingwood Magpies supporters are:
• 104% more likely to have made a purchase from Dimmeys/Forges in the last four weeks; (OC: ROTFL)
• 67% more likely to have made a purchase from The Athlete’s Foot in the last four weeks;
• 22% more likely to agree that “I avoid dairy foods whenever possible”;
• 21% more likely to have consumed V (energy drink) in the last seven days;
• 20% more likely to agree that “The food I eat is all, or almost all, vegetarian”;
• 19% (of respondents aged 18+) more likely to agree that “Australian beer is the only beer worth drinking”;
• 16% (of respondents aged 18+) more likely to agree that “Imported beer is a waste of money”; (OC: And yet Eddie drinks Stella)
• 13% more likely to agree that “I choose a car mainly on its looks”;
• 12% more likely to agree that “None of this stuff about the information super-highway makes sense to me”;
• 12% more likely to agree that “I’m constantly watching my weight”;
• 21% less likely to agree that “I regularly go to church or my place of worship”; (OC: They worship the idol Nathan Buckley)
• 11% less likely to agree that “I always read the business section of the newspaper”;
• 11% less likely to agree that “I like things to stay the same”.

Essendon Bombers supporters are:
• 92% more likely to have consumed Red Bull in the last seven days; (OC: We are the team of youthful energy)
• 35% more likely to agree that “I prefer the bright lights and big cities when I travel”;
• 34% more likely to agree that “I was born to shop”;
• 23% more likely to agree that “I need a mobile phone to give me more control over my life”;
• 20% more likely to have 3 Mobile as their mobile phone service provider; (OC: See the benefits of sponsoring the greatest club of all)
• 20% more likely to agree that “I wear clothes that will get me noticed”; (OC: Stylish Bombers)
• 18% more likely to agree that “It’s important to look fashionable”;
• 16% more likely to have eaten at a KFC restaurant in the last four weeks; (OC: Proud to be part of the 16%)
• 15% more likely to agree that “I buy more of a store’s own products than well known brands”; (OC: Frugal)
• 15% more likely to agree that “I would seriously consider buying a 3G phone”;
• 13% more likely to agree that “I find TV advertising interesting”;
• 13% more likely to agree that “I often enter competitions which are on packets or labels on products”;
• 18% less likely to agree that “I often notice the advertisements on the tops and backs of taxis”. (OC: We're too busy making out in the back of the cab)

Fremantle Dockers supporters are:
• 99% more likely to have eaten at a Red Rooster restaurant in the last four weeks; (OC: Bizarre)
• 35% more likely to have made a purchase from Bunnings in the last four weeks;
• 27% more likely to have Telstra as their mobile phone service provider;
• 23% more likely to agree that “I always think of the number of calories in the food I’m eating”; (OC: While eating at Red Rooter. Nice one)
• 22% more likely to agree that “I often enter competitions run by newspapers, magazines or radio stations”;
• 21% more likely to agree that “Crime is a growing problem in my community”; (OC: Dangerous Freo)
• 14% more likely to agree that “I’m concerned about my cholesterol level”;
• 14% more likely to agree that “I feel less safe than I used to”;
• 26% less likely to agree that “I often take advantage of the special offers on the back of my supermarket shopping docket”;
• 26% less likely to agree that “I often notice the advertisements on the tops and backs of taxis”;
• 25% less likely to agree that “I love to do as many sports as possible”;
• 11% less likely to agree that “I can’t miss seeing those big billboard signs”;
• 11% less likely to agree that “I find TV advertising interesting”.

Geelong Cats supporters are:
• 40% more likely to have made a purchase from Harris Scarfe in the last four weeks;
• 34% more likely to have made a purchase from the ABC Shop in the last four weeks; (OC: Shameful)
• 21% more likely to agree that “I try to buy organic food whenever I can”; (OC: Double shameful)
• 20% more likely to agree that “I avoid staying at accommodation that does not have genuine environmental policies”; (OC: Our contempt overflows)
• 33% less likely to agree that “I need a mobile phone to access the Internet”;
• 21% (of respondents aged 18+) less likely to agree that “Beer is often a good way to start the night”; (OC: They don't like beer either!)
• 19% less likely to agree that “I often enter competitions run by newspapers, magazines or radio stations”;
• 17% less likely to agree that “I usually notice the advertisements on shopping trolleys when I go grocery shopping”;
• 14% less likely to agree that “I find TV advertising interesting”;
• 12% less likely to agree that “I always read the business section of the newspaper”.

Hawthorn Hawks supporters are:
• 16% more likely to agree that “I often buy take away food to eat at home”;
• 15% more likely to agree that “Terrorists deserve the same rights as other criminals”; (OC: The team wot stole the 1983 Grand Final through brutality would naturally support terrorists)
• 13% more likely to agree that “I’m a bit of an intellectual”;
• 29% less likely to agree that “I always think of the number of calories in the food I’m eating”;
• 28% less likely to agree “I often enter competitions which are on packets or labels on products”;
• 28% less likely to agree that “I often enter competitions run by newspapers, magazines or radio stations”;
• 24% less likely to agree that “TV advertising often gives me something to talk about”;
• 22% less likely to agree that “I would have difficulty coping with a demanding job or career”;
• 15% less likely to agree that “I find TV advertising interesting”.

Kangaroos supporters are:• 83% more likely to have consumed Red Bull in the last seven days;
• 38% more likely to have 3 Mobile as their mobile phone service provider;
• 27% more likely to agree that “I wear clothes that will get me noticed”; (OC: Posers like Wayne Carey)
• 24% more likely to have eaten at a Subway restaurant in the last four weeks;
• 19% more likely to agree that “Freedom is more important than the law”;
• 18% more likely to agree that “I enjoy buying magazines”;
• 18% more likely to agree that “I’m shy in social situations”;
• 18% more likely to agree that “I think it’s the Government’s duty to support those who can’t find work”;
• 18% more likely to agree that “I usually notice the advertisements on shopping trolleys when I go grocery shopping”;
• 17% more likely to agree that “I’m a bit of an intellectual”;
• 17% more likely to agree that “I often enter competitions which are on packets or labels on products”, but
• 21% less likely to agree that “I often take advantage of the special offers on the back of my supermarket shopping docket” and
• 17% less likely to agree that “I often redeem coupons to get discounts or special offers”.

Melbourne Demons supporters are:
• 37% more likely to agree that “I always read the business section of the newspaper”; (OC: While wearing a top hat)
• 27% more likely to agree that “I like to drink wine with my meals”; (OC: Served by butler Jeeves)
• 24% more likely to have 3 Mobile as their mobile phone service provider;
• 18% more likely to have made a purchase from David Jones in the last four weeks;
• 15% more likely to agree that “A low fat diet is a way of life for me”;
• 14% more likely to agree that “The Government is doing a good job running the country”;
• 14% more likely to agree that “The Australian economy appears to be improving”;
• 12% more likely to agree that “I believe a percentage of everyone’s income should go to charities”;
• 36% less likely to agree that “I often take advantage of the special offers on the back of my supermarket shopping docket”;
• 33% less likely to agree that “I often enter competitions run by newspapers, magazines or radio stations”;
• 19% less likely to agree that “I use coupons I find in magazines or on packets”.

Port Adelaide Power supporters are:
• 197% more likely to have made a purchase from Harris Scarfe in the last four weeks;
• 37% more likely to agree that “I usually notice the advertisements on shopping trolleys when I go grocery shopping”;
• 34% more likely to agree that “I don’t like to know too much about what’s going on in the world these days”;
• 30% more likely to agree that “Freedom is more important than the law”;
• 23% more likely to agree that “My pet is a fussy eater”;
• 21% more likely to agree that “For my next holiday, I’d really like a total ecotourism experience”;
• 20% more likely to agree that “I avoid staying at accommodation that does not have genuine environmental policies”;
• 19% more likely to have Vodafone as their mobile phone service provider;
• 16% more likely to agree that “I sometimes use force to get things done”;
• 15% more likely to agree that “I don’t read the ads in newspapers and magazines”;
• 12% more likely to agree that “I believe in taking risks”;
• 11% more likely to agree that “It is important to have a full social life”;
• 19% less likely to agree that “I often enter competitions which are on packets or labels on products”.

Richmond Tigers supporters are:
• 70% more likely to agree that “I consider myself a homosexual”; (OC: Interesting)
• 38% more likely to have consumed Pepsi in the last seven days;
• 38% more likely to agree that “My job often takes me outside of mobile phone network range”;
• 36% more likely to agree that “I need a mobile phone to access the Internet”;
• 31% more likely to agree that “I usually notice the advertisements on shopping trolleys when I go grocery shopping”;
• 24% more likely to have Vodafone as their mobile phone service provider;
• 18% more likely to agree that “I look for new experiences every day”;
• 18% more likely to agree that “Quite often I find TV advertising more entertaining than the programs”;
• 17% more likely to agree that “I like to be with a crowd of people”;
• 17% more likely to agree that “Threats to the environment are exaggerated”;
• 15% less likely to agree that “I often redeem coupons to get discounts or special offers”;
• 12% less likely to agree that “I use coupons I find in magazines or on packets”.

St Kilda Saints supporters are:
• 54% more likely to have made a purchase from Autobarn in the last four weeks;
• 52% more likely to agree that “The food I eat is all, or almost all, vegetarian”; (OC: Herbal tossers like Ross Levine)
• 50% more likely to have made a purchase from Clint’s Crazy Bargains in the last four weeks;
• 31% more likely to agree that “I usually notice the advertisements on shopping trolleys when I go grocery shopping”;
• 16% more likely to agree that “People often compliment me on my cooking”;
• 14% more likely to agree that “I always think of the number of calories in the food I’m eating”;
• 12% more likely to agree that “I find TV advertising interesting”;
• 30% less likely to agree that “I’d consider doing some of my grocery shopping on the Internet in the next 12 months”;
• 25% less likely to agree that “Imported beer is a waste of money”;
• 21% less likely to agree that “I often enter competitions which are on packets or labels on products”;
• 17% less likely to agree that “I often enter competitions run by newspapers, magazines or radio stations”;

Sydney Swans supporters are:
• 42% more likely to have made a purchase from Gloria Jean’s in the last four weeks; (OC: Lattes all 'round)
• 38% more likely to have Vodafone as their mobile phone service provider;
• 23% more likely to agree that “It only feels like a holiday if I leave Australia”; (OC: Isn't Sydney revolting at times?)
• 19% more likely to agree that “I often notice the advertisements on the tops and backs of taxis”;
• 19% more likely to agree that “I believe a percentage of everyone’s income should go to charities”;
• 18% more likely to agree that “I regularly go to church or my place of worship”; (OC: Hillsong is fun)
• 15% (of respondents aged 18+) more likely to agree that “I drink more premium beer now than I used to”;
• 15% more likely to agree that “I love to do as many sports as possible”;
• 13% more likely to agree that “I often take advantage of the special offers on the back of my supermarket shopping docket”;
• 11% more likely to agree that “TV advertising often gives me something to talk about”;

West Coast Eagles supporters are:
• 59% more likely to have made a purchase from Dymocks book store in the last four weeks; (OC: Coffee table books must be popular in Perth)
• 50% more likely to agree that “It only feels like a holiday if I leave Australia”;
• 37% more likely to agree that “I often enter competitions run by newspapers, magazines or radio stations”;
• 35% more likely to have eaten at a Hungry Jack’s outlet in the last four weeks;
• 24% more likely to agree that “I always think of the number of calories in the food I’m eating”; (OC: As you should while feasting on Double Whopper with Cheese)
• 22% more likely to agree that “I usually notice the advertisements on shopping trolleys when I go grocery shopping”;
• 22% more likely to agree that “I buy the same food every week”;
• 17% more likely to agree that “I believe homosexuality is immoral”; (OC: And yet Ben Cousins coke habit is fine)
• 17% more likely to agree that “The Australian economy appears to be improving”;
• 16% more likely to agree that “I don’t like to know too much about what’s going on in the world these days”;
• 13% more likely to agree that “I often notice the advertisements on the tops and backs of taxis”;
• 14% less likely to agree that “I always read the business section of the newspaper”;
• 12% less likely to agree that “Homosexual couples should be allowed to adopt children”.

Western Bulldogs supporters are:
• 118% more likely to have made a purchase from Colorado in the last four weeks;
• 81% more likely to agree that “I usually notice the advertisements on shopping trolleys when I go grocery shopping”;
• 40% more likely to have consumed Sprite in the last seven days;
• 38% more likely to agree that “Quite often I find TV advertising more entertaining than the programs”; (OC: Easier to understand no doubt)
• 37% more likely to agree that “I often enter competitions which are on packets or labels on products”; (OC: While waiting at Centrelink)
• 35% more likely to agree that “I find TV advertising interesting”;
• 27% more likely to agree that “I always read the business section of the newspaper”; (OC: Most have surveyed the Smorgon clan)
• 22% more likely to agree that “TV advertising often gives me something to talk about”; (OC: While waiting at the Children's Court)
• 19% more likely to agree that “I enjoy buying magazines”;
• 17% more likely to agree that “I often enter competitions run by newspapers, magazines or radio stations”;
• 12% more likely to agree that “I use coupons I find in magazines or on packets”;
• 22% less likely to agree that “Nearly all TV advertising annoys me”;

Game on.

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HOLT JOLTS: Tory Stories From the South-East

An intrepid member of the OC Investigations Unit has filed an update with the latest happenings in the Holt Liberals. Other news from down there is that the loon Lib Ken Aldred has quit his local branch Presidency, finally taking the hint that he's as welcome as a yarmulkahin a Citizen's Electoral Council boiler-room.

Here's the report:

Just a quick update for you on the Libs and Holt. Angelo the FEC Chair was given instructions to search for a hand selected candidate to represent the local area. He asked (and all said no) among others - Luke Martin (former cranbourne candidate), Lorraine Wreford (casey cr.), Garry Rowe (former MLA), John Kelly (dandy cr.), Gary Anderton (former lyndhurst candidate), Justin McKeegan (kingston cr.), Doug McFarlane (branch member) and other local branch members.

With all local members saying no - the Holt FEC had to hand it back to 104. 104 called for nominations, and only Emmanuale applied. Concerned by this (because civil war will break out in casey if he is endorsed) 104 asked former state candidate Ian Soylemez (Altona) to run.

The vote is soon (and only the Administrative Committee can vote) - and word around the local Libs is that Soylemez has the 104 support.

In other news, at a branch meeting last night, the former lyndhurst candidate Gary Anderton gave a wrap up of the State Election, and informed branch members that he had received private apologies from state media after showing them the final report of the racism claims. That would be Mikey (Bachelard) from The Age?? (OC: That sounds very interesting, has Mikey been up to no good again?)

Game on.

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FREEDOM: The OC Knows All, Sees All and Smells All Lefties Within a 200 Metre Radius

The OC Investigations Unit has once again excelled itself. Imagine this scenario if you will. Candidate Prodos decides to run for Liberal preselection. Drops off his form to the patriots at 104. Heads back home - behatted - to blog on about it and hit the phones of freedom. And while muscling up to do so he visits the OC and finds we've already announced it. That's blogging excellence, or as we say in the OC bunker "doin' it bloggy style". It is well known that the OC has a high opinion of itself, this valid assessment is once again freshly confirmed. Only kidding but a good job indeed by our freedom fighting correspondents. Advance on all fronts!

Viva OC Investigations Unit!

Viva Telmo!

Viva Prodos!

Viva Nathan Lamberto! (And don't you dare forget his farewell drinks at the Hotel Spencer starting 5.30pm tomorrow. It's going to be raucous. For details, see "The Guru" ad above)

Game on.

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BEHIND THE LATTE CURTAIN: Liberals To Face Up or Down Vote On Prodos' Candidacy

Colourful internet identity Prodos is throwing his hat into the ring for Liberal preselection for the federal seat of Melbourne.

Previously he has been persuaded to withdraw but to paraphrase the great English Prime Minister, this time this Prodos is not for turning.

Sources close to the behatted one declare that he will not withdraw under any circumstances and even if the chieftains of 104 Exhibition Street look like prevailing, he'll be pressing on regardless to make his point.

We understand that he will be opposed by an Owen Dixon (not the former Chief Justice who died in 1971 presumably).

Prodos seems like a good stick, an unusual person in politics who actually thinks about his political philosophy rather deeply. Political parties don't generally reward such folk which is why in ALP circles it's sometimes quite a surprise to hear a strong view about something where there's no internal agenda just a sincerely held opinion, like Conroy and Fiona Richardson against uranium mining or Tanner in favour of really open markets with much less government red tape on foreign investment. Unpredictable views are all too rare.

And Prodos isn't so much unpredictable as consistent philosophically, which is even rarer. Good luck to him, he'll need it.

Game on.

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MONASH: From Kroger's Cradle, His Heirs Squabble Like Sewer Rats

The Monash Uni Liberals have just this afternoon elected their El Presidente in the form of controversial "Neo" Con Hellas.

Hellas, who fuels his red non-enviro friendly crapbox with the fruit of income from the state as an Andrew Robb electorate officer, was triumphant over Haydn Steel, a budding beer baron described by his friends as "lovable".

Nosy and Colourful Con has been accused of racism by his opponents due to his claim that "multiculturalism is the greatest threat to civilisation". Someone should tell the world's biggest economy that they're getting it all wrong. Con is aligned with Kroger/Costello forces, he loudly says.

His factional rival Ben Crowley - a former Monash Liberal president of vice - is not much better some say, allegedly he has a myspace page that would qualify him for memebership of the Ku Klux Klan with odious attacks claimed on women, aborigines, Jews and lesbians. Sadly for Mr Crowley, a member of the OC Investigations Unit has retained a copy of the unpleasant page that he has taken down.

Benny has alleged financial impropriety against Colourful Con and his buddy 104 Exhibition Street employee Jess Thomson, saying they had not correctly handled the vast reserves of money of the Monash Liberals.

Naturally both sides of the conflict are also accusing each other of branch-stacking, a disease of accusation that has spread from the ALP and multiplied faster than cane toads.

Game on.

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STACKS ON: Josh is Recruiting, Jenny Resigning and Glenyys Holding Her Hand Out Asking For More

Josh Frydenberg is still determined to take down the Liberal's most leftist MP Petro "Retro" Georgiou.

Liberal sources reveal that Josh is rolling out the tanks in a demonstration of persistence that has shocked insiders.

Frydenberg would normally enjoy the support of 104 Exhibition Street but for the fact that Petro is a committed vote for Peter Costello in any leadership contest. As a result, other than the support of fellow former Downer staffer Greg Hunt, Frydenberg is running a solo operation.

He is drawing on the substantial Jewish community in parts of Toorak and Malvern for his support with many wondering whether he's ever likely to be able to surmount the huge obstacle of the number of naturally occurring Tories in the area. A huge percentage of Victorian division members come from Kooyong and they've demonstrated that they're quite happy with Metro Retro Petro, so Josh's only way in is via some rather large scale stacking.

Developing...

In other Liberal news, Kennettista Jenny Matic has resigned as Female Vice President of the Victorian Libs. She and David Kemp had worked out a cross-factional deal for a unified ticket going into the imminent State Council meeting.

She has told Party colleagues that she's leaving for personal reasons with some speculating that her job in the public service made it increasingly difficult to be active in machine politics in the Opposition party.


OH YES AND THERE'S GLENYYS
No such problems in the public service though for former Labor MPs who seem to have latched themselves onto the taxpayer teat with an enthusiasm normally belonging only to newborns.

The most outrageous example being dud dumped MP Glenyys Romanes, a Socialist of little virtue who has bobbed up as the - wait for it - Manager of Community Relations for Public Transport in Victoria. Marie Antoinette's hand-maiden helping her wash off the concerns of the peasant-folk commuters "obsessed" with bourgeois concepts of "punctuality".

Game on.

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