The parliamentary Leader of the Liberal Party in Western Australia Troy Buswell today denied having sex with animals, a serious crime.
The Australian reports:
Asked if he had done anything inappropriate to a quokka, Mr Buswell replied: “No”.
Asked if he was aware of any rumours about actions involving the small marsupials, which are indigenous to Rottnest Island, Mr Buswell said: “I have absolutely no idea about these stories of quokkas on Rottnest.
“I'm not being backward in saying that I'm not a perfect individual and you know I've had a robust past and there may be elements of that that have proved offensive to people.
“I don't shy away away from that at all, but I'm not aware that I've caused any offence to a quokka.”
Then the buffoon said what he ought to have said:
I'm not going to comment on it. I'm just not interested to be honest with you.
We have sent Buswell's office an email asking whether he was interested in also denying involvement in any of the following:
■ Chemical weapons production;
■ Genocide;
■ Child prostitution;
■ Involvement in an armed robbery in South Perth in 1978; and
■ Slave ownership.
Game on.
UPDATE:
A patriot wrote in - This reminds me of an old story about Lyndon Johnson. Apparently his campaign manager was concerned LBJ was being headed off by his opposition, a farmer, LBJ’s response was - “tell them he f*cks pigs”, “but he doesn’t” says the campaign manager to which LBJ responds “I know but I want to hear him deny it”.
UPDATE:
The Oz Informant has sent in their take on the latest Buswell scandal:
West Australian Opposition Leader Troy Buswell says there is "absolutely no substance" to reports he once did something inappropriate to a quokka.
Asked if he had done anything inappropriate to a quokka, Mr Buswell replied: "No. I'm not being backward in saying that I'm not a perfect individual and you know I've had a robust past and there may be elements of that that have proved offensive to people. I don't shy away away from that at all, but I'm not aware that I've caused any offence to a quokka."
A spokesperson for the International and National Association for the Protection and Preservation of Rottnest's Old People, Rabbits, Indigenous Animals and The Environment (INAPPROPRIATE), commented today. "Troy Buswell has been a long supporter of our society and it's acronym, and I'm shocked to hear these allegations," said small marsupial Bryan, who asked that we blur his face.
"I can tell you that a large majority of Quokkas are behind Buswell on this one. Some of my best friends are chair sniffers, and I think the way he has been treated is appalling. Troy's support of human-quokka relations, not to mention his deep love for scratch 'n' sniff office equipment, should not be underestimated."
Having recently departed from the WA shadow Cabinet, Paul Omodei said today "I'm staying in Parliament, regardless of what happens. Buswell can smell it all he wants - this is my seat and I'm sticking with it." Mr Omodei also declined to elaborate on the birth of a tailed marsupial in Northern WA. The single mother, an unemployed rock wallaby is claiming Omodei is the father.
A spokesperson from the Society for the Nasal Enjoyment of Derrieres, Garters and Expansive Rump Support (SNEDGERS) declined to comment until consulting with Mr Buswell. "I would not want to impute his olfactory integrity."
UPDATE:
Naturally the yarn ended up being a crock of quokka.
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