Residents of inner-city Melbourne are being invited to "Help start a Communist Yoga Ashram to live in!" according to posters displayed through Brunswick and other inner-city areas. Naturally, the use of the C-word attracted our keen interest.
Organisers say they intend to forge an an authentic form of communism which will put previous mass-murdering and pillaging efforts in the shade.
The advertising material decrees that it will be a hub for "social activism" and the "redistribution of wealth will be encouraged". No doubt this redistribution will be trickling up towards Ashram organisers who will enjoy the fruits of their communist rule.
And fruit it will be on the menu as the poster outlines that "residents would not consume alcohol, drugs, meat, coffee, sugar and tobacco." Presumably that prohibition means they items cannot be taken separately or in one big hippy stew.
A NICE LITTLE EARNER
Someone is certainly going to be making a quid out of it because the Ashram envisages charging $150-200 per week for unfurnished four bedroom premises that would be shared by a dozen people or more. A nice little earner. Could this be our enlightened path to enrichment, I slyly ponder. You've got to draw the line somewhere, as young lefty Clancy Dobbyn said to Alex White when Fat Al slipped the tongue in.
Even worse, their website explains:
Be aware that as this is an ashram any income you earn outside should be donated to the ashram while you are resident even if in excess of the suggested donation. The reason for this is explained more fully in the code of conduct under "Possessions".
As a community service, we decided to dig up their code of conduct. And you guessed it, it's a scam:
8. POSSESSIONS
As a condition of this vow of collective unification, ideally members should give all their possessions to UOCA, however this is only a requirement of a full life member who has decided to commit him or herself completely to the goals and mission of UOCA; certain rights and obligations will come with this status.
However all other members should still act in a manner of not owning or possessing anything and that all their possessions that they bring into the ashram are collectively owned and to be shared (though the member still may maintain responsibility for the objects) including any and all income earned within and outside the ashram. This is to be given to the Ashram while the member is resident.
If the member leaves the ashram they may take their personal possessions with them. Other possessions are to be considered donated unless specifically discussed with the Supervisor and confirmed in writing.
The reason for this is that maintaining ownership of material objects even outside of the ashram is a symptom of the individual ego's incapability to ascend to a state of non-separation from the unity or unified collective that is represented by the cosmic self, the supreme personality, or in simple terms God. This inability to surrender material possessions has resulted in capitalism and most of the poverty, conflicts and cruelty on this planet. It is one of the greatest stumbling blocks to spiritual evolution.
My cosmic self remains unimpressed with the prospect of giving it all up for communism. The OC's meagre assets - mainly in the form of highly valuable copyrights to OC work product and published rants - are much too priceless to pass up even for the prospect of Unity with the Supreme Personality (which I have always understood to be Bill Shorten or possibly Bert Newton, I suspect that stage of enlightenment hasn't occurred to these Communist Ashramites yet).
Game on.
since failed candidate 
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