Socialist Left Supreme Leader and vanquisher of the sub-faction Jennings/Giles Innovation Minister Kim Il Carr has made international news for being heard to say "I've got no bloody idea" in response to a parliamentary question from Senator Ross Lightfoot.
If the answer was either Ross Lightfoot or Kim Carr, of course, it must have been a pretty stupid bloody question.
But the timing of the outburst, by no means more profane than the foul parliamentary utterances of Carr lieutenant and state MP for Eltham Steve Herbert, was all bad for the Socialist Lefty because the Senate had just ordered an inquiry into the amount of swearing on Australian television. While they're addressing that vital issue of national interest, they might perhaps also investigate the extent of swearing within the ranks of television industry executives, which does seem to be - based on the OC's observations - more profane than the average dock, warehouse or truck depot.
THE DIRTY SECRETS OF THE SPEAKER
Also heard swearing in the last year or two is the normally careful House speaker by birthright Lord Harold of Jenkins, the member for Scullin. During the notorious preselections for ALP candidates for the 2007 elections, Harry was considered gone for all money. The young and lucky ETU operative Nathan Murphy aka Lucky Murph looked like he'd established a seat-winning lead among local comrades and on the central panel, the POSC.
But Harry had his eyes on the prize of holding the gavel and copping the grovel of Parliamentary attendants and refused to go down without a fight.
In one meeting with a local activist who - shall we say - had an influence on a reasonable number of branch members in the northern suburban seat. In such meetings, it is customary for candidates to inquire of the vote-gathering warlords "what do you want?" People in politics tend to take themselves very seriously so they don't ask for anything as vulgar as a bribe, it's usually much more subtle than that.
Responses can include things like could you favourably consider the employment of my difficult-to-place nephew or give more emphasis in future to the plight of Kurdish amputees or assist my friend an employer of many Melbourne Uni chemistry graduates with his liquor licensing problem. There are reports occasionally of SL union bosses paying cash for votes directly but every time I've checked out these tales they seem to be the fantastic imaginings of disappointed opponents.
LORD HAROLD SHARING THE LOVE
In this case, it is said that the activist explained to Lord Harold who himself defines hardship as his normal couch in the Melbourne Chairman's Lounge being occupied that he'd been doing it tough lately and that he really needed a car.
Harry Jenkins was quick off the mark. Presuming that the bloke meant he just needed a car to motor around and talk to his members and maybe to drive some to the plebiscite which was only days away, he thought the request perfectly reasonable and offered up the keys of his taxpayer funded car.
The branch activist was well pleased and thought it a fair swap for three more years of nicely salaried safe seat bliss and a crack at the Speakership should Labor win and Roger Price be nobbled. Only trouble was the branch member presumed that the car gift arrangement was a permanent one, in the manner considered normal business in the home country.
When word got back to Lord Harold that the master-stacker was keeping the car permanently, he went apoplectic, swearing and ranting and cursing the ethnicity of the activist. After soul-searching and consultation with colleagues, he had to go cap in hand to the confused dude and ask for the keys back, explaining that he "just couldn't" give him the car permanently.
The car was returned, albeit very reluctantly. Harry Jenkins won the preselection by the closest of margins due to the ratting of some Labor Right alliance partners and Lord Harold proceeded to drive on to become Speaker of the House of Representatives.
Game on.
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